The Denial Diaries
by Dexterthecaterpiller
Summary: An au about what I want Ron's life to be like, in diary form.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Oh my gosh! I forgot the disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR, except for Billie Joe. HE IS MINE!

The diary of Ronald Weasly By: Ronald Weasly Chapter 1

September 1st

Wow! I can't believe I am going to a magic school! The only problem is I can't take electronics, so I can't listen to my cool new CD's I got for my birthday. I particularly like that muggle band Green day. I love their I-don't-care attitude. I should follow their example sometime. Wow! I can't believe that nobody else has a diary like me. I've asked all of the first years and the only other person so far was a stuck-up jerk. But he was hott to be so stuck-up, and he's rich! I just re-read that sentence. I think I might burn this page. Well, I have to go vomit. See you when I confirm that I am not a queer.

Hello, back again! This train really stinks. I think somebody let off a dung bomb. No wait. That was just me. Sorry guys! Well, seeing as how we have to get in the water, I think I will put you away so you won't get wet.

Oh my good golly gee. I think I might vomit again. We have to get sorted now. Urrgh, I feel sick. It must be weird for the others to see me scribbling away in my diary while I am standing to be sorted. Wait. That hottie is writing in his diary too. Eew I did it again!

The hat is telling me to stop writing in my diary, but I can't help it. I feel like defying it. Oh wow. I made it into Slytherin. I'm the first in my family. I'm so happy! Oh, I'm crying I'm so happy. Fred and George are looking shocked. I hope they don't murder me.

Now we are all sorted out. I will tell you who is all in my house. There is a guy named Dean, Seamus, me, Malfoy (That's the hottie's name! Aargh, I have to stop that!), Harry, and a guy who is invisible and nameless.  
The girls are a girl named Tommie, Felicia, Athena, Dot, Chloe, and Victoria. They're sextuplets. I think they are all clones of Tommie. I do. I really do. I really really do. I really really real- BANANAS! Oh, sorry, I have a hint of Teret's disease. OH BOY FOOD! I have to go I am freaking starved.

Wow! That was the most magical moment of my young life. I'll give you a play-by-play of it. I was stuffing my face when Tommie spills her pumpkin juice. I offered her mine, even though I had already taken a sip of it. She took it, and we shared it for the rest of the dinner. It was awesome! But then she walked out on the arm of Harry because she says he looks like Billie Joe. So then I cried and Malfoy comforted me. He told me I was beautiful no matter what any girl thinks. Then I remembered I am not gay and told him to bug off. He cried after that. Well, I have to go to bed and dream about Tommie and how pretty she is. Yep. Goodnight.

September 2

Hello again! I had a dream that made me wake up in a cold sweat last night. I dreamt Harry snuck off to talk to Tommie last night and he didn't come back for a long time. The I woke up and realized that his bed was empty! Then I cried and Malfoy tried to comfort me again but I beat the crap out of his lovely, sweet head. Harry had come back by that time and I was mad. Let me tell you what happened.

"You're late," I said to him.

"Is it a crime to get up for a few minutes?" He said back.

"Yes it is. You need to stay away from my girl!" I said back.

"Your girl!" Several voices said at the same time.

With that I fell back onto my bed and drew the hangings around it. I was cursing them under my breath and finally I yawned and fell back asleep.

Today is weird. We have the first week off, and we have waaaay too much leisure time. I bet people think I'm queer because I constantly write in my diary. But I like it. It gives me something to do. Seamus is so weird. He has, like, all of the chicks, the pimp. I wish he would stay away from Tommie. And Harry should, too. How about everybody stays away from her? 


	2. The Mystery Kisser

Chapter 2 (A/N: Now we will go into the Secret Pimp Book of Mr. Seamus Pimperish. Oh, and I forgot my disclaimer. AHEM! I do not own any of this except the character's new personalities and Tommie and her clones. I do, however, own the plot, though I'm sure it disgraces JKR and I doubt she would want to claim it. I also own Seamus' obsession with Oreos. Which you will see in later chapters.)

September 2nd

Gosh. Today is, like, so awesome. All the fine ladies are checking me out. Tommie won't leave me alone. She's pretty cool. You know what? I think I'm going crazy. I think that other guys have secret pimp books, too. But they don't call them pimp books. They call them diaries. I think those who have diaries are gay. I really do. Like Ronald Weasly... My gaydar screams out "Fagget!" with him. Or maybe he's a bi. That would be interesting. He he he. Have you noticed how much that people ignore me? Maybe it's because I'm Irish. Kiss me, I'm Irish. Ha ha ha.

You know what I love? I love cake. Cake is good. But you know what is better than cake? Oreos. Yum, I love those things! I swallow them whole. They are so yummy and good. Do you like oreos? You are crazy if you don't.

You know what else I love? I love American muggle movies. They are so pointless. Like the one about Harry Potter. J.K.R. took real people and made it fake. We should be getting money, but it seems like she forgets about her inspiration. Authors, who needs 'em?

(A/N: We are going back to Ronald's diary.)

September 3

Whoa. That was weird. I just had a chugging contest, and I lost. For the first tine, I lost in a compition related to food. I lost to Harry. He seems better than me at everything. Maybe I'll get popular if I become his friend. Nah, that would be weird.

It is so boring right now. I think I am starting to hallucinate. I just saw Billie Joe from Greenday. Wait. That was Harry! He must have gotten contacts, because he isn't wearing his glasses. Wow, he looks so punk. Since when does he wear Converse? And he is, like, wearing all black. Are those tattoos on his arms? Oh my gosh, they are! Wait until Tommie sees him, she will hate him for sure! Oh my gosh! She is talking to him! What? Oh no! I have to go, diary!

Sob sob I feel so hated! She was the one who made him like that! Waaaah I want my mommy! Waaaaaaaaah! Mommy, help me! I feel heart-broken! Wahaaaa!

Sniff I think I am okay. I just feel so left out. Harry has Tommie, Dean has Felicia, and Seamus has Athena, Dot, Chloe, and Victoria. Uugh, is there nobosy for me? Wait. Somebody is behind me. I can...

Whoa that was weird. Some girl comes up from behind me and covers my eyes and then kisses me. I think I liked it. I need to go find the mystery kisser. Be back soon!

I'm back. I can only think of six people in the room at the time. There was a girl named Cho, Tommie (Who was with Harry.), some Gryfindor girl, Draco, and Dean. I'm hoping that it is Tommie, but that would be weird on the account of she was with Harry. I think it was Cho. Let me go ask.

Okay, it was not Cho. I tried to kiss her and she put me in a headlock. And it isn't the Gryffindor girl either. It has to be Tommie. It just has to.

September 5

Diary, I think that I am officially stumped. It wasn't Tommie, Cho, or that other girl. Who could it be? Iv'e asked Harry to tell me, but he just laughs and tells me he swore secrecy. Tommie just plain ignores me, and Cho threatened to break my nose if I talked to her one more time. Even Draco and Dean seem weird around me. They keep blushing and stuff. I wonder if they're sick or something.

Now it is time for bed, but I am secretly writing in you. You are so special to me, dear diary. You are the only one who understands me. You know what? I hear someone else's quill scratching, too. I bet it's Seamus. Or maybe Malfoy. Stupid queer. I bet he's in denial about his feelings. I bet he screams inside his head "I AM NOT GAY!" He he. I can picture that. I can picture Dean doing that, too. Good thing I am not gay. I am not! I AM NOT GAY!

A/N: Can you tell who kissed him? Contact me and guess, because if you do it in the reveiws, you might ruin it for someone. The first five to get it right will get something lovely, I just haven't thought of it. Maybe I will let you write some of the story? Or you can be honored by being the lovely Tommie's sisters? 


End file.
